Once I was having a conversation with my friends at school and the topic somehow drifted to my low weight. One of the girls told me: “It’s okay, we will simply go to McDonalds a few times and you will get better”. I can’t even emphasize how wrong she was. If curing an eating disorder was so simple, then there wouldn’t have been so many people suffering from it.
For many the idea that someone is unable to nourish his body with enough nutrients seems illogical and beyond understanding.
Saying ‘just eat’ implies that eating is an easy thing, which for a person with an eating disorder most definitely is not.
Eating disorders aren’t about food; they are about feelings, emotions, and thoughts.
People with eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa have been trying to lose weight for a very long time. Stopping the process and beginning to eat more, even though it is necessary, is not simple. After some time, distorted eating behavior becomes a habit. Me and my mom were once discussing what is easier: gaining weight or losing it. I answered that gaining weight was harder, because when you’ve been trying to reach a goal for a long time, stopping and reversing the progress is not easy.
Regaining weight after you’ve been trying to lose it is mentally challenging. The worst part of eating disorders are the emotions and thoughts. It is hard to grasp the amount of fear, shame and anxiety that engulfs the brain of a person with an eating disorder. There are complex biological and social issues at play that are making the person unable to eat an appropriate amount.
Every day we are bombarded with headlines of “perfect” diets, “good and bad” foods, harmful consequences of certain products. Let’s be honest, when society constantly gives you thousands of reasons why you should be terrified of food, recovery process isn’t going to be as simple as “just eating”.
As I said in one of my earlier articles eating disorder is a way for a person to deal with his emotions. It is not the food that a person needs to recover, but emotional support. Eating (losing weight or gaining weight) won’t resolve the problem. Emotions and thoughts must be dealt with. The causes and past trauma must be addressed.
Think about it: why is it that treatment doesn’t consist of only eating?
When accessing treatment patients require a lot of therapy and sessions with professionals during which surprisingly food is not the main focus. It is the experienced emotions and the events which have caused them that the biggest emphasis is put on.
Never underestimate what a person with an eating disorder is going through. You don’t know what demons he has to fight in his head, nor do you see the silent struggle.
People with eating disorders are terrified of eating. Asking them why they won’t ‘just eat’ isn’t helpful, as a matter of fact it can seem blaming and shame-inducing which makes the person further upset. I do realize that it is very hard to understand the thinking of people with eating disorders if you never had one. That is exactly why it is important to challenge the status quo of discussing mental illnesses and share first person experiences so hopefully the issue will become at least a little bit clearer, and people will be more considerate when making remarks.
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