How do I know that my friend has an eating disorder?
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. Does your friend constantly talk about foods?
2. Does your friend often make comments about their weight and diet?
3. Does your friend often turn down the food you offer/invitations to go out for meals?
4. Does your friend avoid being around when everyone else is eating?
5. Does your friend often go to the bathroom right after meals? Have you heard them throwing up?
6. Does your friend exercise a lot (especially more after big meals)?
How to approach your friend:
It’s never a bad idea to approach your friend about your concerns. It won’t do any harm.
Eating disorders are very sensitive subjects and some people might even be ashamed of having issues with food and body image. When bringing up the subject to your friend it is very important to show your worry and encourage them to tell you the truth as it can benefit them. Say that you care and sincerely wish to help and support them.
Some people with eating disorders secretly wish to seek help but are not able to reach out for it themselves. Personally, I always hoped that someone would’ve noticed my struggles and approached me about my eating disorder as it would’ve made it much easier to open up and ask for help.
What if my friend denies having any issues, but I am still concerned?
If you are still worried about your friend even after the conversation, it is worth taking some time to observe their habits and share your concerns with an adult (not peers, as unintentional disinformation and rumors might be spread which, as stated earlier, can have a negative impact on your friend).
Expressing your concerns to an adult may be difficult and uncomfortable. You might even feel as if you are betraying your friend. Although, if you really have their best interest at heart, it is better to talk to an adult. If your friend actually has an eating disorder, then they require help from a specialist.
It is a good idea to either talk to your own parents or the parents of your friend about the concern. Alternatively, you can speak to a school counselor or a mistress (if boarding).
How can I support my friend?
You may not be a professional doctor, but you can also positively impact your friend’s wellbeing. Friendship plays a very important role in overcoming an eating disorder. Here are some ways in which you can help:
- Be supportive and listen to your friend when they are distressed.
Having a friend in which you can confine in is very helpful. Sometimes you need to express your feelings and thoughts to someone else to overcome the anxiety.
- Be patient
Some of the things that your friend is really concerned about might seem insignificant to you, but they are a big deal for them. Eating Disorders alter the way our brain thinks.
- Never share the concerns of your friend with anyone else
If a person trusted, you with this information it is important to keep it confident. This topic is very sensitive, exposing it to someone else (especially other friends and peers) might cause your friend unintentional harm.
- Avoid comments about food, weight, diet, and appearance (anyone’s!!)
It can be very triggering to listen to others toxically talk about food and body image, this can discourage recovery or make your friend very distressed, worried, and sad (especially at the early stages of recovery).
- Complement your friend on their other qualities (avoid comments about appearance)
Hearing compliments is uplifting and makes your mood better. Sometimes one small comment can make a person’s day.
- Tell them that you are proud of them
Boosting up their confidence is important. Tell your friend how proud you are of how much they achieved and how strong they are. Your happiness can motivate them to keep fighting the illness.
- Try not to be too watchful over your friend (food amount, choices, eating and exercise habits)
This is a very tricky point. Of course, you wish your friend to recover fast, but it is not a fast, simple journey. It takes time. Being too watchful over your friend might discourage them to be around you and make them avoid you/regret telling you. You can accidentally scare them off.
- Educate yourself
Having knowledge about eating disorders is very useful. It can give you a better understanding of what your friend is going through and what you can do to help.
Seeing a loved one struggle with an eating disorder is very painful. It is important to always be there for your friend and support them no matter what. Having someone to overcome this journey with makes it much easier.
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